Contrary to the title of this blog I am not a believer of the wondrous horoscope. However, like many I am aware of my sign and incidentally my sign fits exactly how I have been feeling lately.
To back track a bit, how about we start with why I chose to create a blog. My dear ole best friend pointed out yesterday that my journal is my outlet and that it gets me through a lot. I loved that! I knew that I journaled, mostly to God, every chance that I got but I never realized that it truly is the medium through which I restore myself and set myself back on my paths. Delving deeper into this I realized I just liked the idea of “journaling” in general. The bookmarks on my laptop are a testament to the fact that in my downtime I enjoy reading tons of blogs. There is something so entertaining about being able to sit back, relax and read the tid bits of wisdom bestowed upon all these people during their “journaling” experiences. I mean hey, blogging is but a different form of journaling. So while reading one of the newest blogs I happened to stumble upon, I got this idea to create my own blog. It was a thrilling and scary idea but I brought it up to God nonetheless to hear what He had to say. In the peace of my soul I knew that this would be an eye opening and growing experience and so thus begins this blog.
Lately, I have been feeling God calling me to my own little “forty days and forty nights.” So I signed out of my facebook and Instagram for the week and started this week long series of learning to trust, relax, and listen to God. While starting this series however something really began pressing upon my heart and I cannot seem to shake it. I feel as if I am living a double life. As the “twin” of the zodiac I have reached a crossroads where my flesh and my spirit are staring each other down ready for the ultimate face-off. I feel as if away from home I am a Christian actively seeking and pursuing a way to live for Christ. However, at home I shy away from my Christianity and choose instead to keep up the part of the baby incapable of growing up and being the daughter, sister, and aunt that God has called me to be. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I fear the thought of living out Gods plan for me in my home.
This is where I am right now and this is probably exactly where I am supposed to be. I do not have all the answers, and God has not revealed to me all the steps I am to take during my time here on this Earth. However, He has revealed enough to tell me to just obey and not to worry and not to be anxious, but to continue to pray and give thanks for all He has provided me with now. I may not be the best daughter, sister, or auntie that I can be, but for now that is fine because in my weaknesses His strength is magnified in me. So I will continue to trust, relax, and listen, knowing that He has my back and He is working in the little to overflow into the big.